December 6, 2010
So here we find ourselves, 13-9, and still wondering how we survived with bus driver Don at the helm. This past week, we embarked on a journey to Florida that will never be forgotten. After loading up the bus, eating pizza for the eighth time, and all hugging coach’s wife farewell, we started on our way down to the Sunshine State known as Florida.
Fortunately for us, Coach Beall ordered the sleeper bus which is full of cushioned, flat surfaces, allowing each of us to get some shut-eye through the night. Even more fortunately for us, Big Don and Sharon were our bus drivers. As Don navigated the treacherous highway, we watched as he ignored the ranting drivers who kept pointing up for some reason, and kept a continuous supply of oranges peeled to cut through the inevitable smell that had permeated the walls of the bus after an 18-hour trip of soccer guys. Amazed that he had gotten us there alive and that he was even still alive himself, the occasional chant of “Don’s the Man” would erupt often, fueling his kamikaze-like driving.
After we had eaten our fill of Wonka’s newest gummies to hit the market, we arrived at our hotel in Florida, which is where all the teams competing in the tournament were staying. After settling into our rooms, and watching Coach George win yet another single bed over Coach Beall and Coach Marietta, we headed down to the pool to bask in the 80 degree weather that was now upon us. While swimming, James (Twinkle Toes) Twinem decided to lead some players in a synchronized swimming exercise in the hotel pool. After attempting to gracefully tread water, watching two swim races (of which Coach “6th Best Backstroker in Virginia” Beall lost both), and we had played the game where we all go under the water and try to talk to each other, we realized that players from other teams had been watching. Running through their minds was nothing short of “Golly, I wish we get to play that team of dorks”. Little did they know, was that the Cedarville Men’s Soccer Team was about to play their best bit of futbol all year.
Before our game that night, the team headed to Tim “It’s cool to wear headgear” Green’s house to have a spot of lunch and to just hang out. While waiting for the food, a group of players decided to go on a gator hunt in the woods - so with machete, mosquito net, hoe, and baseball bat in hand, the group embarked on their adventure. No more than ten steps into the wooded forest, Tim Green stepped into a yellow jacket (ironic, I know) nest, causing at least two hundred of the little buggers to swarm and began stinging. As the jackets began stinging, Green took off running and yelping, sending a warning to the other warriors that danger was at hand. After the escapade had subsided and four more tours of duty in which Ryan “Baby Cage” Connelly, James Twinem, and Jon “The Warthog” Blauert had all attempted to spray the agitated yellow jackets, Tim Green, Matt “Camera Man” Niemiec and Steve “I think I’m allergic” Ellis found themselves filled with yellow jacket poison.
That night, we played the Cambellsville Tigers and after trouncing them 4-0, with goals by James Twinem, Timmy “The Moroccan Menace” Waller, and Stephen “Full 90” Schindler, we headed back to the hotel knowing we had secured nothing less than a fourth-place ranking in the tournament. The next morning, we headed to Pirates Adventure Land Golf and had a team competition. Unfortunately for the coaches and any other group behind Connelly, Blauert, Green, and Coach George, there appeared a barrel on the course that was previously a prop on the sidewalk. With the help of some questionable score keeping, Coach Marietta recorded the lowest score of everyone, but plenty of shenanigans was had by all.
Later that night, we played our second game against the #1-seeded Covenant Scots. After going up by four goals by Matt Niemiec, Ryan “The Professor” Thurman, and James Twinem with 20 minutes to go in the game, we realized that we had made it to the championship game (aka “The Ship”). As we got back to the hotel, and the score of our game spread, we noticed that the guys who originally thought of us as a bunch of dorks, now realized that we were a bunch of dorks who could play some soccer.
On our day off, Coach decided to take us out to a Chinese buffet at our request. After Todd “The Toolshed” McKinley had tried nearly everything at the buffet, each guy was on the verge of hurling, and we had a good laugh at each guy’s fortune, we headed to the Nike Clearance store. That night, Coach took us to Kobe Steakhouse where the chef cooks the food at the table. We were at three tables and of course, went into a complete uproar any time the chef attempted to do anything tricky, making the food and the experience, even that much more enjoyable.
After dinner, we headed to Downtown Disney, at which we realized that due to the fact that we had decided to wear a shirt and tie to dinner, we strongly resembled a boys choir. In light of this fact, we decided to group together and gave a smashing rendition of Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer, Silent Night, We Wish You A Merry Christmas, and O Holy Night (during which, we all fell to our knees at “Fall, on your knees”). It was brilliant. The next day was the ‘Ship but before battling, we headed to Gaylord Palms to gaze upon the local resident species of the greater Florida area, the American Alligator.
Although we were unable to pull off the victory against Palm Beach Atlantic, we walked away with the second-place plaque, and a weekend we will never forget. Special shout out to Steve Ellis and James Twinem who walked away with All-Tournament Honors, and Matt Niemiec who was the Offensive MVP.
Now seeing as though I am a senior, this marks the last blog I will ever write to you my dear readers. Thank you for your allegiance over the past two years, and I hope that you’ll continue to support the Cedarville Men’s Soccer Team, (preferably in the form of a donation for future scholarships).
I leave you with this:
The season of ‘10 has come to an end
To have a winning season we did not pretend
Our coaches have guided through sunshine and rain
And made us run sprints, Oh Leyna the pain!
We’re privileged to play the game we all love
Our talents we trust come down from above
We’re brothers, we’re mates, we’ve been through a lot
Together we battled, we kicked and we fought
Much thanks to Coach Beall who turned it around
Can Hoober and Waller still not even bound?
To Florida we went, what a memorable trip
Niemiec is hurting, he got stung in the hip
For the seniors the running has come to a halt
The pain we endured, it was Coach’s fault
Now soccer is finished, gosh it was great
Leaving it and these guys, I’m sure gonna hate
We had on our team, a freshman named Mitch
“Nnnnever give up”(in Galaxy Quest voice),
see you on the pitch!
November 29, 2010
So here we find ourselves, 11-8 and preparing for a week in Florida. Last week was full of training sessions, trying to prepare for the NCCAA nationals next week. Coach gave us Wednesday and Thursday off for Thanksgiving festivities and we all returned Friday night for practice. Over the weekend, Coach had us over for dinner and we played FIFA and foosball throughout the night. Sunday night we boarded the sleeper bus and started our drive down to Florida. After 18 hours, a few extra stops than expected, the consumption of our new favorite candy, and some Mario, we arrived in Kissimmee, Florida for the NCCAA tournament. Ranked as the 5th seed, we’ve got a tough week of competition ahead but now that we’re at the ‘ship’, we’re ready to play some of the best soccer of our lives. Check out our website for results in our games throughout the week!
November 22, 2010
So here we find ourselves, 11-8, heading to the ‘ship’, and ready to lather ourselves in SPF 25. That’s right readers, for the first time in four years, Cedarville Men’s Soccer will be trading their jackets and coats for swim trunks and boats. We’re heading down to Kissimmee, Florida to champion the NCCAA tournament from December 1-4.
Never being ones to let a big win come easy and forgo the opportunity to stress Coach Beall out completely, our game against IWU was one for the ages. After going down a goal in the first half, Matt (UFC Fighter) Niemiec laced one past the keeper to tie it up. After a series of unfortunate events, the Jackets found themselves down 3-1 with a fourth goal impending as an IWU player lined up to take a penalty kick. Fortunately for the Jackets, Kevin (I eat PK’s for breakfast) Bender stopped the shot with ease.
As the game wound down and fans began to dwindle, the Jackets decided to poise their stingers for one last attack with only eight minutes to go. The barrage of brilliance began with a free kick goal by Joe (WEET WEET) Mueller that he confidently put over the wall past a frozen keeper. To tie the game, Eric (The Second Team Superman) Newman obliterated a shot from about 22 yards that left both players and coaches alike with jaws dropped. The winning goal and the end to the most epic comeback in Cedarville soccer history came from Timmy (The African Wonder) Waller who dribbled across the top of the box and bent the ball in the upper left corner with only seconds left on the clock. …. ……….. ……… … …..Sorry, after reliving these moments I was once again left speechless.)
With the NCCAA Midwest Region title in hand, we’re on our way down to Florida to make some noise at the national level.
See you on the pitch!
November 15, 2010
So here we find ourselves, still 10-8 and preparing for the most intensely epic battle of our lives. We are playing Indiana Wesleyan University at a date and time still to be determined. The winner heads to Florida for the NCCAA nationals in December. Over the past three years, we have battled our way to this exact game, but to no avail. After a hard week of pre-season like training sessions, our guys are as ready to do battle as ever. Unfortunately, in the past two weeks there have been two concussions administered, leaving defenders Scott (How old am I?) Roseberg and Tim (Where am I?) Green on the injured reserve list for this upcoming match.
After the Jackets win against IWU, it will mark their first trip to the national tournament in four years, and will mark the first national tournament appearance under the reigns of Coach Todd (The Recruit Master) Beall.
In other news, this past weekend was the Cedarville Men’s Soccer Winter Clinic, at which nearly 75 potential recruits showed up to receive training and get looked at by the Cedarville soccer coaching staff. Each player housed about three recruits each, making for interesting sleeping arrangements in rooms where soccer guys are roommates. The weekend was a success overall, with some exciting prospects for the Cedarville’s Men’s soccer program in the upcoming years.
Be sure to check out the results against IWU on our website.
See you on the pitch!
November 8, 2010
So here we find ourselves, 10-8 and hanging up our cleats for the last time. Due to our string of unfortunate losses towards the end of the season, it appears that our season has come to an abrupt halt. As we consider the reality that we as Seniors have reached the pinnacle of our soccer career, and are now on a downward …. Wait, what’s that?
Holy frijoles, I cannot believe what I have just heard readers. Word on the pitch has it that the CU athletic administration has decided to allow us to continue play in the NCCAA tournament, with a possibility of making it to the national tournament in Florida!! I’m going to go find out more details but stay tuned for more information throughout the week.
See you on the pitch!
November 1, 2010
So here we find ourselves, 10-8 and still trying to understand how Todd “Toddeley” McKinley managed to misdirect the ball into the conifer.
This past week marks a first in the life of a Cedarville Male Soccer Homosapien. After a deflating and kinda awkward loss to the Cougars who live in caves on the Mt. called Vernon, we were a bit unsure of how Coach “Beezy” Beall would respond.
As we trudged up the hill to the practice field, a fear set in and was felt by all. Now every individual who has ever laced up a pair of soccer cleats naturally understands that when the goals are moved off the field, pain is imminent, and this was exactly the case as we glanced across the vast and ominous field. As practice began, Coach called us all in, and with a face as stern as the dolomite stone that so many of us have had to study in Earth Science while here at Cedarville, he informed us that we would be playing soccer baseball for practice and would be having ice cream afterwards.
After two intense rounds of soccer baseball, and Coach “Spicy Italian” Marietta had single handedly demolished the good guys, Coach “Great Aim” Waldo had torn both hamstrings running the bases, Ryan “Jimmies” Connelly had outfielded like a champ, Ryan “Baby Cage” Thurman had set a new record for foul balls, Eric “Hoobastank” Hoober had barely cleared the pitching mound, and Steve “A simple heads up would suffice” Schindler had managed to kick the correct ball, seeing as those he saw two coming at him every time due to an unfortunate concussion in practice, our unforeseen yet rather rejuvenating practice ended.
In other practice news this week, Matt “The Calypso of Coin Flips” Niemiec was defeated in a drill by Joe “Schmeeb’s Delight” Mueller!
Despite a poor hand dealt to the Jackets in both of their face-offs this week, goals were scored by Timmy “Tiger Scratch” Waller, Scott “Brosie” Roseberg, and Eric “I Heart REA Diagrams” Newman.
As the season winds down, and always being one to give praise when praise is due, I’d like to give a special shout out to the sheilas of soccer, the soccer wives and girlfriends. Without the endurance to withstand the sub-zero climates, the determination to wait after games as Coach assesses our performance, or the tender care after a tough loss or the over reaction after an injury, we men would be helpless. Special thanks to Mrs. Annie “I make a mean Spinach Dip” Beall, Mrs. Katie “The Carer of the Kidney” Marietta, Mrs. Sarah “Can anyone find my husband ?” Waldo, Ms. Alison “Green’s Gal” Scharold, Ms. Liz “Connelly’s Choice” Knorr, Ms. Hannah “I’m dating Twinem, he’s Canadian “ Filbey, Ms. Jess “Mueller’s Maiden” McCoy, Ms. Casey “Niemiec’s Number One” Hinzman, Ms. Kelly “K. Bender’s Boo” Wise, Ms. Torrie “J. Bender’s Beauty” Pepper, and Ms. Kaley “Clarky’s Chorus” Tyson.
See you on the pitch.
October 25, 2010
So here we find ourselves, 10-6 and swabbing the deck, hoisting the sales, and loading the cannons for yet another week of Cedarville soccer.
This past week, we played our last regular season home game aaahhhrrrggg, and as such, it was Senior Night. This year’s group of scaliwag seniors consists of Matt (The Captain) Niemiec, Ryan (Peg Leg) Connelly, Jason (Skippah) Bender, Joe (Chips Ahoy Matey) Mueller ((A little “Before and After” action for those of you who follow Wheel of Fortune)), Kevin (Breeze from the West) Bender, Jon (Treasure Chest) Blauert, and Tim (I’d rather be fishing) Green.
As the seven shipmates dawned their waters for the last time, one could only sense that a battle was brewing like a maelstrom off the coast of the Caribbean. Unfortunately for Daemen, this storm happened to be a category five fury of Yellow Jacket brilliance. The Jackets set sail with cannons ablazin'. After successfully navigating through the treacherous waters of the Daemen defense, Cedarville’s constant firing resulted in five cannon balls penetrating Daemen’s vessel. These shots were fired by Steve (The Caribbean Coolata) Schindler, James (Canada doesn’t even have pirates) Twinem, Eric (Blackbeard) Newman, another by James (Is “pirate” even translated in Canadian) Twinem, and Matt (Parlay) Niemiec.
While on the sandy beaches of Cedarville, Ohio this week, our reserve crew also had a battle to fight against the Red “Hurricane” Storm of Rio Grande. With every swipe of their swords, and shot of their piratey pistols, the lads destroyed Rio’s vessel. Leading the barrage of shots fired was Zac (Pirate Gummy’s) Gatlin, who scored the winning goal for the determined skipjacks.
See you on the pitch.
October 18, 2010
So here we find ourselves, 9-6 and still waiting for Coach Marietta to give up the controller to FIFA 2011. This week, we faced two formidable opponents who just so happened to be ranked #2 and #3 in the nation of NAIA, Rio Grande (Bob Evans Boys) and Notre Dame College (not Rudy’s alma mater).
Realizing the given danger of facing two teams that have gone the entire season without a mere blemish on their record (undefeated), and considering the fact that the majority of them called their teammates “mate” or “lad”, Coach Beall decided to tweak our Dutch formation to a more “goal prevention” minded formation (The Christmas Tree). Throughout the entirety of last week’s practices, Coach Beall trained and engrained us in this new formation, while keeping a box of Kleenex’s close at hand as he battled a 102.5 degree Fahrenheit (31.6 degrees Celsius for those Canadian readers).
Seeing as though it was Fall Break this past weekend and the entire men’s soccer team stayed around because Coach Beall decided it was better to have men on the field when we faced our opponents, Coach had the entire team over for dinner. Upon arrival, we were greeted at the door by Annie (Mrs. Coach) Beall, and coach’s dog Macy, who moved faster than her owner when he is demonstrating a drill in practice. After more pieces of cow than humanely thought possible had been consumed, Dillon (Leggo my Eggo) King and Jason (Tree Stump) Bender had defeated Coach (Wrists of Wrath) Beall on his home turf, James (The Canadian Choo Choo) Twinem had proven he was indeed the ultimate “conductor” of strategy in the game “Ticket to Ride”, and the George Brothers had once again proven that taking 10 minutes to concoct a FIFA formation really probably isn’t that effective after all, we called it a night.
Unfortunately for our record, we were “destingered” in both attempts to conquer a ranked team. Despite our attempts of coming back two goals on Rio Grande after being down 3-0, and equalizing Notre Dame on shots on goal, our record added two to the loss column. Notable goals this weekend came from a header by Timmy (What’s a barber?) Waller, and two brilliant blasts by Matt (The Brit) Niemiec.
See you on the pitch.
October 11, 2010
So here we find ourselves, 9-4 and still itching our scalps in an attempt to rid ourselves of any lice we may have gotten from our close encounter with the females of the Cedarville women’s soccer team.
This past weekend was our trip to New York to compete against Roberts Wesleyan and Houghton. Fortunately for us, the women’s team was also traveling to play the exact same two teams on the exact same weekend, translation…we were going to travel with them. To some this may invoke a rejoicing,“holler!”, but as we considered the trade offs of: 1)doubling up with a teammate on a charter bus for twelve hours, 2) choosing from movie selections that all had a small castle icon on the front, 3) increasing our chances of getting lice after a severe outbreak recently plagued their team, a dreaded moan of exasperation was all one could audibly conceive.
But to our surprise, not all of we men were downtrodden. Halfway to New York, while waiting at yet another rest stop where Zach (I get back massages from the girls soccer team) Gatlin had yet again filled his pockets full of sugary goodness, someone brought to our attention the cuddle fest that was occurring between Dillon (Cuddle Bunny) King and Scott (Snuggie) Roseberg. While driving, they had fallen asleep on each other’s shoulder, but what caused us to double take, was that Scott had wrapped his arm around Dillon, creating the perfect blackmail picture which was captured and will be utilized for further use.
Concerning our games, we were stunned to realize that both Roberts Wesleyan and Houghton shared an “Empire State of Mind” and we walked away the defeated party in both. Disappointing as the outcomes were, something happened that none of us, in our give or take 375 years (25 guys at 15 yrs.) of soccer bliss had ever witnessed. In our match against the Houghton Purple Highlanders, an unnamed (you’ll see why in a minute) Cedarville player supposedly tangled up with a Houghton player, resulting in the Highlander giving a theatrical performance that would have made Shakespeare jealous, ranting and raving that he had been kicked in the face.
Now to set the context, the referee witnessed none of the episode, and all he saw was the player practically convulsing on the ground. In response, he declared, “Someone in blue (Cedarville) is getting a yellow card, now who’s gonna step up and take it.” ??????? After hearing this proclamation, we looked around at each other with an expression that much resembled our faces when Matt (the coolest nerd we know) Niemiec explained how he “tracked” engineering systems all summer. Was this really happening and does he really have no clue who did it? As we began considering having our goalie take the card, or having four guys at one time admit to doing it, just to see how the referee would handle this conundrum, the opposing team rescued him by pointing out who they believed to be the culprit.
See you on the pitch.
October 4, 2010
So here we find ourselves, 9-2, and still trying to figure out just how Matt (Fairydust) Niemiec managed to elevate himself with such gracefulness, as he netted the bicycle kick.
This week was Homecoming week on campus and as always, it was the Cedarville Men’s Soccer Alumni game. Ah yes, the time of year when the Cedarville Soccer Saints take a “Road Trip” (Cedarville Homecoming theme) to once again dawn the pitch after having painstakingly lifted and dieted for the past two weeks to try and achieve a fair enough fitness level to allow them to make more than two effective runs.
Fortunately for most, the fields were cut in half this year, reducing the amount of physical exertion required from the gents, and resulting in the refund of the oxygen tanks and masks that had been ordered for half time. As their cleats once again sank into the moistened pitch, the trailblazers of our program were immediately taken back to their days of soccer glory: a slide tackle under the lights to stop an inevitable goal, a 20-yard blast to win the game in overtime, their names being yelled obnoxiously by the fans, and their dedicated girlfriends patiently waiting at the end of the game for their soccer stud to give them a sweaty hug.
One may ask, “Does it get any better than this?” I would argue an emphatic no my friend, indeed it does not. A few notable alumni stand outs included Matt (Aaayyeee!!) Green, Luke (What a Treat) Griffith, Ryan (Anarchy) Hyde, Luke (I eat goals for breakfast) Marietta, John (Finishing Clinic) Waldo, Todd (Focused Frenzy) Beall, Matt (Hejduk’s Disciple) George, Tim (Opportunity Curve) George, John (Baby Hands) Norton, Josh (Dddaaaddd) Gelser, Ryan (Bullseye) Lustig, Steve (Lady in the Water) Cobucci, Joe (Fireball) Zurner, Jason (Injurious) Cunningham, Grant (Flying German) Knight, Andrew (Bells) Belleman, Steve (Fear of the Forwards) Ellis, and John (The Terror) Taylor.
On Saturday morning, roughly a baker’s dozen of us drove to Springfield to run a soccer clinic for a group of about one hundred home schoolers. This is an annual ministry that we have done now for about 1,460 days (four years) and is currently being led by Steve (Chicken Noodle Soup) Campbell. After an enjoyable and fairly interesting day of coaching boys with intriguing haircuts, watching girls try to run in jean dresses, and being immersed in a subculture that Jason (Torrie’s Teddy Bear) Bender has such fond memories of, we called it a day and headed back.
Our first game of the week was against cross-town rivals, Wittenberg, not Wittenburg. Goals for the game came from a left footed pounding by Matt (Tinkerbell) Niemiec, and a composed finish by freshman Dillon (I’m makin’ Waffles!) King. On Saturday, our trouncing of Point Park began with a coming out goal by Ryan (Dogs at the Fence) Connelly, James (I tap for my own syrup) Twinem, Timmy (0-60 in 5) Waller, Matt (Twinkle Toes) Niemiec, and Joe ($8 or $5 Chuck’s scans) Mueller. Also in notable news, the 5-0 shutout win, marked a new era in the record books as Kevin (Boo of Kelly) Bender set the career record for most shutouts (18) by any Cedarville goalie since the beginning of time.
See you on the pitch.
September 27, 2010
So here we find ourselves, 7-2, and still trying to regain feeling in our upper right extremity (hand) after Mr. Niemiec welcomed us all into his home (The Niemiec Training Facility).
On Tuesday, we engaged in a dual against the stone that makes a right angle (Cornerstone), in the great state of Michigan (And for those of you who are wondering, ya, it’s really that PURE). As we boarded the bus at 7:00 a.m., our bodies immediately began perspiring as we realized it was yet another “sleeper bus” (refer to previous blogs for thorough explanation). Fortunately, this bus was made within the last century and actually had the fairly recent and innovative invention…air conditioning.
To sweeten the deal even more, the coaching staff (Lads whose Legacy’s been Left) had granola bars, bananas, H20, and blueberry toaster pastries, not Pop-Tarts, generic toaster pastries. Ya, so maybe the economy’s taken its toll, so for all two of you soccer alumni out there who are trying to relive the glory days by reading this blog, hook some brothers up and share some of the wealth through a donation. (For more information about how to make a generous donation to provide a future player the opportunity to live the dream that you had a part of, call our Alumni Relations President at (863) 899-6186).
Speaking of alumni, legends Steve (The Z) Zarrilli and Andy (Lightning Bolt) Levesque both were at Tuesday’s game to gaze once again upon goal-greatness. Fortunately for them, the Jackets tallied three goals that game, one from James (Pigs Beware) Twinem, one from Eric (Cedar of Lebanon) Newman, and one from Matt (10 pt. Buck) Niemiec.
After the game, we headed to the Niemiec’s home where we enjoyed a feast prepared by the Niemiecs and the Gatlins. After gorging ourselves, swimming before we had allowed enough time for our food to digest, watching James (Torpedo) Twinem be dethroned from his swimming pedestal, and witling all the leftover carrots, we headed southward with goody bags in hand (Special thanks to Mrs. Niemiec).
Many of you may be wondering about the dreaded “shut out” signs that were still looming over us (literally and figuratively) last time I spoke with you all. Although we were yet again unable to achieve the coveted shut out in Tuesday’s game, Coach Beall realized after speaking to a player and hearing him say that he had been unable to sleep for the past three nights because of the mental anguish that the signs caused him, his original intentions of motivating us had morphed into a daunting curse.
To our delight, when we entered the locker room on Wednesday afternoon, we were shocked to once again see the blue of our lockers, a joy that carried over into our first conference game against Malone on Saturday, in which we…shut them out completely. Oh the irony. Goals vs. Malone were scored by Eric (Easy E) Newman, Steve (Ladies Man) Ellis, and Tim (Toolshed) Green.
Now I know what y’all are thinking, “Tim Green scored a goal? I guess even a blind squirrel finds a nut every now and again.” Let me correct your thinking. Given the vast amount of squirrels, ranging in color from gray, black, brown and the occasional white that inhabit planet earth, as well as the bountiful supply of nuts that these furry little creatures have to feed from, the chances of a blind squirrel finding a nut are actually pretty high. Roughly 17.8% to be exact. These odds are much too high for Tim Green to score. A better comparison would be the odds of a unicorn going through the eye of a needle, Steve Ellis acknowledging one of his 10 suitors, or Coach Beall actually coming straight to the bus after a game and not recruiting any potential player over the age of 10. Regardless, the ball somehow went in, and we Jackets are poised and ready to sting the conference.
See you on the pitch.
September 20, 2010
So here we find ourselves, 5-2 and still waiting on Coach Beall to finish talking to recruits so we can depart at a decent hour.
A common thread which we find weaving itself throughout every Cedarville men’s soccer year of play is the all-too-common injury. Whether a dented occipital lobe, a separated acromium clavicular, a sliced tibialis anterior, or the ever-so-painfully inhibiting...kick to the groin region. Thank you James (Toe-ball) Twinem. Regardless of the intensity or location, one variable that’s always a constant (engineering pun) is the visit to the training room a.k.a. Leyna’s Lair. The trainers of the Cedarville University men’s soccer team, often an overlooked asset which if not included would result in potential current and long-term liabilities (accounting pun), include: Head trainer Leyna (Queen of the Tape) Hebert, Training apprentice Eric (Bass) Sanders, and Apprentice to the apprentice Brice (Is that a tape wrinkle?) Bittefield. When interviewed concerning the impact Leyna has had on his life, one player (who wishes to remain anonymous) responded, “She has brought healing to my life and my soul, without her who - knows what back alley I’d be limping down right now.”
Last week, we managed two wins against the Shawnee State Bears and the Urbana Blue Knights. Unfortunately, neither of the wins were shutouts, translation…the locker room still remains covered in white signs, painstakingly reminding us of our inability to prevent the back of our net from rippling. Ah, but in the words of the aliens on Galaxy Quest (a movie the freshmen are almost ready to watch on our next away trip), we will “Nnnever give up, Nnnever surrender” until the coveted shutout is achieved. Four goals were put away by the ever-hungry Jackets last week: Two rips by Matt (Abliteration) Niemiec, a coming-out goal by Zack (Gatlin Gun) Gatlin, and another contender for goal of the year by James (Canadian Mounty) Twinem.
See you on the pitch.
September 14, 2010
So here we find ourselves, energized for yet another week of Cedarville University men’s soccer and still tearing up a bit over the hallmark moment we all witnessed after Saturday night’s match (explanation later in the blog).
This week marked a pretty typical week in the life of a Cedarville soccer player, genus homosapien. 1) focused, ascending, and penetrating practices; 2) impacting youngins lives and realizing how not to parent in our Dribbler’s soccer ministry, 3) team movie night which unfortunately for Ryan (I just toolshedded on four defenders) Thurman consists of game tape and not Toy Story or Sydney White, and 4) getting pumped for games by blaring music in our locker room on Jon (EEEEOOOHHH) Blauert’s speakers which if I’m not mistaken causes the toilet handles to continually flush due to the vibrations the speakers put out (myth not confirmed).
This past weekend, we hosted at our home field as the home team here at Cedarville University on our very own pitch the Dave Jones Memorial Classic. Invited to the epic tourney of tourneys this year was the Rio Grande (we drink tea at half time) RedStorm, the Bethel (We do brunch) Pilots, and the Indiana Wesleyan (FINALLY stung by the Yellow Jackets) Wildcats.
As we entered the locker room for Friday night’s game, we players looked around in confusion as we asked ourselves and each other, “Was it snowing in our locker room?” To our relief, it wasn’t snow that covered our locker room but rather a sea of white signs that Coach had hung up saying “Shut Out”. Now I’m not just talking about a sign on each locker, I’m talking about 20 signs layered on each locker and signs on all the walls mentally preparing our team to defend like maniacs.
Friday night’s game started off a bit awkward to say the least, especially after Coach’s attempt to focus us on defense, when Bethel scored in the first two minutes, and although we hoped for karma to prevail at the end of the second half (Bethel came back form a 3-0 deficit to beat us 4-3 only 730 days earlier), we were unable to pull it off and lost 2-1.
As we entered the locker room on Saturday night, there was a “smog” of determination that hovered above our lockers. As we left the locker room and walked out to the field (white “shut out” signs stuck to the bottom of our shoes), we knew that tonight was gonna be the night of conquest. After a battle for the ages, we ended the game all tied to each other at 2-2. For those of you who are the fans who like to yell obnoxiously loud but really don’t understand the rules, overtime play is played under the “golden goal” rule meaning that first to score takes home the V.
Within three minutes (give or take), Matt (I crush you) Niemiec laced the ball with vigor in the back of the net sending a shockwave of excitement throughout the entire crowd. After scoring, Niemiec sprinted over to his father and brothers who were standing on the sideline and embraced them. As this happened, I’m pretty sure I saw the sun setting in the background creating a silhouette of the embrace, as well as a golden lab retriever returning from afar, but I’m not positive.
Regardless, the win was probably the most exciting win any of us young males, ages 22 and under, have ever experienced. Goals for the weekend were scored by Eric (Skull off Skill) Newman, James (Consider buying padded insoles) Twinem, and Matt (Hoy!) Niemiec.
See you on the pitch.
September 7, 2010
So here we find ourselves, 2-1, still sweating from our bus ride, and strategizing as to what we’re going to get off the dollar menu at our next meal stop. This past weekend we headed to Dayton, Tennessee (not Dayton, Georgia - relevance to come later in the blog) to play in the Bryan Classic.
There’s a couple things you never want to hear your bus driver say when you’re getting to leave, so when he told us that he probably brought the wrong bus for heading south because it acts as a convection oven, we we’re a bit nervous. True to its reputation though, the bus did just that, and we spent 5 hours in a stale sweat, some sleeping, some weeping, and some putting the pieces of their now busted Mac back together (Steve (Bookie) Magee).
After stopping at Chick-fil-A and Todd (Freshman) McKinley had ordered his bottled water, of which we had 40 of the same kind on the bus, and Subway where all of our sandwiches came with only meat and cheese because they ran out of ingredients, we arrived at Bryan.
But before we left the hotel, Coach Beall came around to all our rooms demanding that we go swimming in the hotel pool. With most of us in our skivvies, we all jumped in and after about 10 minutes of frolicking, chicken, playing with the lifesaving devices, and James (Is that a flower on your chest?) Twinem proving his racing prowess, we were told to get out. The explanation for this escapade was that he felt we were all looking a bit stale and needed to freshen up for our game - brilliant idea if you ask me.
Our first game was against the Bryan Lions, no rhyme intended, and after 90 minutes of nothing shy of a battle similar to what you may see in the Lord of the Rings Trilogy, we had tamed the Lions. After the game, the coaches decided to order pizza for dinner. Unfortunately for the pizza guys, we accidently got the number for the Little Ceasar’s in Dayton, Georgia, not Dayton, Tennessee.
The next day we decided to go to Tennessee’s largest mall, at which we were amazed at the large variety and selection they had in their pet store thanks to Joe Mueller and Jon Blauert’s (Bash Brothers) encouragement. After Ryan (Shake and Bake) Thurman had bought yet another very useful product from Brookstone, a light blue plush robe for the bus ride home, we arrived back at Bryan for our second game against the Mid-Continent Cougars.
Although the result wasn’t in our favor, the game was still a thrill as we scored two goals in the last six minutes to tie the game up and send it into overtime. Goals for the weekend were scored by Matt (I pop soccer balls with my feet) Niemiec, Eric (I make 50/50’s 100/0’s) Newman, and Tony (Padfoot) Franco.
See you on the pitch.
August 30, 2010
Hey there readers. So here we find ourselves, starting off yet another season of Cedarville Men’s Soccer. With a new coaching staff, trainers, and freshmen, we’re all looking forward to a successful year.
We had two running tests that the majority of us passed and have had quite an eventful preseason. We had two scrimmages, both of which we won. Our first game is this Tuesday vs. Cincinnati Christian and we’re hoping it jump starts our best season yet.
Thanks for reading and stay tuned.
See ya on the pitch.
Tim Green is a Dean’s List student from Lakeland, Fla. with a major in accounting. The senior is a two-time NCCAA All-America defender.
