May 16, 2017
Cedarville Baseball Blog Audience,
Marc 'Shark' Russell
It’s my honor to serve as a substitute author for the final baseball blog of the year. I know you all enjoy the work that Jaden does, as do I, but he’s really busy this week getting started with law school. Wish him luck. I hope that I’ll be able to deliver a sufficient update in his absence.
- Marc Russell
As far as baseball goes…Our season is over. We were eliminated on the first day of the tournament…Nothing more needs to be said about that.
Although our season didn’t go as well as we wanted, there are a few positives that I’m taking away personally.
The first is that the baseball team set a program record for the amount of soap that we collected for the SAAC. Every year the teams are encouraged to collect left over soap form the hotels that they visit so that it can be donated to a homeless shelter at the end of the year. This year, the baseball team collected more soap than they have in all the other years combined. We brought in roughly 3.2 lbs of soap. Great job, guys.
Secondly, we improved our overall team happiness level. About mid-way through the season I took it upon myself to track our team happiness level. My goal was to get us at a 7/10 average for the whole team. I created a spread sheet and walked down the bus aisle asking people for their 1-10 happiness level. We started off pretty poorly, but I’m happy to tell you that there was a happy ending to this one. On April 13, 2017 we reached a 7.47 happiness level for the whole team. Granted, Brent wasn’t on that trip, and Marshall was sleeping, but these measurements were taken directly after eating Golden Corral, so I think it all evens out.
Now to the good stuff.
Feud of the Week
This week’s feud was tagged teamed by Jesse Bush, Riley Landrum, and Brent Solinger. These three plan on living together along with teammate Joshua Kneeland in the upcoming 2018-2019 academic year. This should be very…interesting. I’ll need to provide a little back story so you can completely understand what this argument was about.
Riley and Brent were originally denied the privilege of living off-campus next year. However, when they appealed the decision, they were granted the opportunity. The problem is that they weren’t granted permission until a month after everyone else, so it put the foursome in a bit of a bind in trying to find a place to live with the appropriate space, price, and area for the group that they now had assembled.
This argument started in the cafeteria when, out of nowhere, Jesse came over and accused Brent and Riley of not putting any effort into finding a house for them to live in. He said, “you guys need to pick it up or I'm not living with you next year.” I would love to tell you that Riley and Brent were understanding of the stress that Jesse had been under from leading the charge in trying to find a house in such a short amount of time, but that would be a complete lie. In fact, quite the opposite occurred.
Riley lead the counterattack by telling Jesse that he needed to “give clear instructions” as to what he needed help on, and claimed that he didn’t know what there was for him to do. The two traded insults that I would rather not share on the blog. When asked if the four of them were still living together after the argument he responded, “I’m not really sure after that whole thing.”
Brent refused to comment. He was clearly frustrated.
This was just a mild start to what promises to be a “feud of the week” filled year for this foursome. They are unarguably the four most quarrelsome people on our team, and you should look forward to the good arguments that are inevitably to come.
Samsung Scumsack of the Week Award
Markus Neff, for throwing a pitch in The Show while Riley was taking a drink. Congratulations Markus, you’re kind of a jerk.
Quote of the Week
“Sean, strike somebody out. Boom roasted.” - Jaden Cleland
Mailbag
“Who is the most entertaining locker room dancer?” - Thomas, Chicago
Thomas - thanks for joining us all the way from Chicago. It’s encouraging to see how wide our fan base actually spreads. I guess we’re kinda like the Yankees in that sense.
In my opinion, Riley Landrum is the most entertaining locker room dancer.
____________________________________________________________________________
It’s been my honor to be with you guys this week. I want to send a quick shout out to Jaden for his work on the blog these past two years. Our blogs have always been good, but I believe he took it to a new level. Let’s all give him a round of applause for the job he’s done these past two years with the blog. Enjoy your summers, everyone!
Until next time,
- Shark
April 26, 2017
Since our 0-8 start to the season, we’ve played .500 baseball. We’ve won 9 of our last 13 games, and are getting hot at the right time of the year.
We play Ashland University this afternoon (Wednesday), and travel to the sad, dreary state of West Virginia for a four-game series this weekend at Ohio Valley.
"Marc and Brent’s" Weekly Feud
If you haven’t noticed, Marc Russell and Brent Solinger have been participants in a great many feuds this season. If you were looking to find new players in this week’s feud, you’ll be sorely disappointed to find both Marc and Brent returning to the ring. This feud began in the dry heat of afternoon batting practice. According to new legislation that Pitching Coach Bo Martinez implemented, all pitchers must run sprints based on walks and hit by pitches offered up for the week. This week, the pitchers were charged with running 65 sprints before Sunday.
During batting practice, pitchers are supposed to help position players shag in the outfield, but some (including Marc Russell and Riley Landrum) chose to start running their sprints. Brent Solinger, known for his calm demeanor, simply asked Marc to start helping them shag in the outfield.
Brent has bad knees, and had been tirelessly sprinting after every single ball in the outfield, while Marc jogged on the sidelines. Brent didn’t think his request was over the top until Marc began screaming at him and wagging his fingers in his face. Brent, being the gentle giant that he is, attempted to apologize to Marc for asking for help. Marc didn’t accept his apology, and continued to berate his teammate for what seemed like an hour.
Brent began to cry in the outfield, and Marc had to be restrained by two of his teammates. Marc was dragged to the bullpen where he could be seen foaming at the mouth. Marc uttered some additional unsavory insults from the bullpen before we were able to calm him down. Brent chose not to press charges against Marc, and said, "I think he was just having a bad day, and if taking it out on me is what he needed then I’m willing to bear that burden."
Marc knew that he took it too far and offered a formal apology to the entire team this morning before the bus ride to Ashland. In a somber tone, he requested forgiveness from Brent due to the "stupidity of [his] actions."
**Jaden Cleland has the legal right to present feuds from his own personal biased opinion, requiring no factual backing or accurate context for the events that may or may not have occurred. Thank You**
Quote of the Week
"If we haven’t figured out the ground ball thing by now, then we aren’t going to" - Coach Manes
Weekly Award
The Cleanest Locker Award Presented by Biz Detergent
**Awarded to Ben Lonergan**
The Unbecoming Scratcher Award Presented by Jenny’s Nail Salon
**Presented to Riley Landrum**
Mailbag
"Jaden, how are your finals going? Have you finished your big paper yet? When are you coming home to see us? Love you!" – Mom, Springfield
Great questions mom!
I already told you that I don’t have any finals coming up, and I’m almost done with my paper. I submitted my rough draft, and I’m waiting on Prof. Hartman’s response before I submit my final draft. I’ll be home later this week to watch Ryan run in his meet. Love you too.
Email questions about the team, our schedule, expectations, or what you’d like to see in the next blog to jadencleland@cedarville.edu.
Thanks for reading,
Big Mamu
April 20, 2017
We have reached that time in the season, when we are beginning to see the end of the year, and senior day is right around the corner.
I would like to take a moment to thank each and every single fan that has come to support us this year. We are so proud to have such great turnouts for all of our home games.
With that being said, I believe that the fans could improve in the area of trash talk. For that reason, I have brought in expert trash-talker, and Cedarville senior basketball superstar Easton Bazzoli for assistance.
Verbal intimidation has always been the backbone of physical competition. Throughout history, the sports world has been flooded with colorful characters that possess a flair for the dramatic. While we separate ourselves from the world in our goal of trash talk, we desire vocal greatness from our players, and most importantly from our fans.
Trash talk doesn’t have to be insulting or berating in order to work. I don’t advocate personal attacks, over-the-line-insults, or yo momma jokes. There is ample room to operate within the good, clean, fun of the game. For instance…last year, Jonny Foote yelled to an opposing player "you have a hole in your pants", because he actually did. The funny part of the chirp is that Jonny yelled, "you have a hole in your bat, too" after the opposing player struck out. This is objectively funny, and I think we can all learn a little bit from Mr. Foote’s delivery of the chirp.
Team "chirp-star" Jesse Bush noted that he likes to get under the skin of opposing players as a means to get a "mad funny reaction from them", and give our team the upper hand.
Easton Bazzoli noted that he likes "funny burns", but also likes to push the limits from time to time. Easton likes to start out with a few cheesy burns like, "I’ve seen better swings on a porch" to get the juices flowing. Typically these jokes incite additional fan banter, and then Easy-E likes to push the limits from there.
Whether you’re a basketball superstar, a first year knuckle baller, or even the pitching coach (cough...Bo) don’t ever be afraid to get in a verbal joust with the opponent. You may find yourself inspiring other fans around you, and perhaps you’ll stumble upon greatness in the process.
Feud of the Week
While there were undoubtedly feuds this week (I’m looking at Ross and Marc’s suspect quality at bat charts right now), there weren’t any large enough to include in this week’s blog. Thus, we will have no feud this week.
Quote of the Week
"I’m really going to miss Nate Bancroft and Marshall next year when they graduate." - Matt Biermann
When I heard this quote I shed a single tear, like in the movies, and had to remove myself from the conversation.
Weekly Award
The Batting Practice Gold Glove Presented by Rawlings
**Awarded to Ben Lonergan for putting more effort into those two diving catches than he has into anything else all year.**
Mailbag
"Jaden, who will be taking over the blog next year? - Marc Russell, Cedarville
Good question!
After months of arduous consideration and contemplation, I have brought a member of the Yellow Jacket squad under my tutelage as a means to train them in the art of blog writing. While I have been given absolutely no authority to do so, I have made the executive decision to begin delegating powers to this individual for the remainder of the season in hopes that administration will not notice the exchange of power going into next year.
For legal purposes, I cannot announce who this individual may be, but I will informally announce him, or her, in the coming weeks of the blog.
Email questions about the team, our schedule, expectations, or what you’d like to see in the next blog to jadencleland@cedarville.edu.
Thanks for reading,
Big Mamu
April 13, 2017
We’re on a three-game winning streak, so… I’ll leave it at that.
Feud of the Week
The feud of the week will forever be known as "Musical Chairs". I must preface that this feud occurred multiple weeks ago, and has been postponed in the blog due to the highly emotional nature of the feud. It was a drizzly Tuesday, and the team was eating lunch in Chuck’s (the cafeteria). On this day, the team sat at a smaller table, meaning the seats filled up quickly.
For a quick reference I have included a seating chart as a visual aid. The two contested seats are highlighted as "Seat A" and "Seat B".
Nate Robinson was finishing up his meal in Seat A when Brent Solinger came into the cafeteria. After a little confusion, Seat B was squeezed into the table to accommodate Brent’s 6’10 frame. Brent set down his drinks at Seat B then proceeded to get his food. While Brent was in line, Nate Robinson finished his meal and left. Thad arrived at the table in time to put his drinks down at Seat A. While Thad went to retrieve his meal, Brent returned to the table, and upon his arrival moved his stuff into Seat A…displacing Thad. As he made this move, a respected source noted that Brent said, "This is going to cause trouble. I can just feel it."
When Thad returned, all the seats, except Seat B, were filled. Thad, befuddled as he was, calmly told Brent, "That’s my seat". Brent replied, "I don’t know what you’re talking about", to which Thad aggressively responded by marking his territory. Thad, like any primal animal, proceeded to mark his territory through select verbage meant to intimidate his trespassing foe. As Thad bared his fangs, the table grew silent, and many individuals had to remove themselves from the table (both from laughter and shock). I personally was stunned by the confrontation, and even more stunned when the 6’10 grizzly bear rose from Seat A and relinquished the throne to the incumbent. Because this description is so vague, for a variety of reasons, I have included first hand quotes about the incident below.
"The entire situation could have been avoided if Brent would have calmly explained himself, rather than denying taking the seat." - Markus Neff
"The whole thing made my insides hurt, but that may also have been Chuck’s pizza" - Connor Culhane
"This reveals our team’s level of maturity, which is far superior to this time last year." - Dan Llerena
"I’m glad I got out of there when I did" - Nate Robinson
Freshman Spotlight
RHP/SS/2B/OF/PinchHitter/PinchRunner/Bench (#27) – Connor Culhane
Culhane has really connected well with the team since his senior year of high school when Josh Kneeland almost broke his nose during a campus visit. Connor is studying psychology with a minor in female interactions. Connor is a gifted athlete, but learned everything he knows about baseball from Eli Sanchez. We really do love Connor though, so I sat down with the freshman to see how his first year of college was going. CC noted that college is not as cool as it looks in the movies, and that he thought there’d be "less class and stuff". Connor said his favorite meal is Chuck’s sweet potatoes, and that he would rate Eli’s hair as a 6/10 "but, only if he had to". When asked about his position changes, Connor eloquently replied that he is just trying to elevate and celebrate, and he works on hitting home runs in batting practice.
Quote of the Week
"It’s common knowledge that a rubber bullet hurts more than a regular one." – Matt Bierman
Weekly Award
The Comeback Performance of the Season
**Presented to Tyler Brophy for his performance against Urbana University, and his ability to throw strikes**
Mailbag
"Why does the baseball team have so many ‘feuds’?" - Derek, Jacksonville
Good question! Derek…consider yourself blocked from the blog.
Email questions about the team, our schedule, expectations, or what you’d like to see in the next blog to jadencleland@cedarville.edu.
Thanks for reading,
Big Mamu
April 1, 2017
Feud of the Week
This week, our feud comes from Mark Russell…throwing list aficionado, and shortstop turned third baseman, turned pitcher, turned back into third baseman, turned back into a pitcher.
This feud begins long ago in Oakland City when Marc and Josh Kneeland got into an argument about whether or not a ball hit in the hole was a hit or an error.
During game one last Friday Colton Potter, who was riding a 10-game hitting streak, hit a ground ball up the middle. Malone’s shortstop had the ball bounce off his glove, while attempting to make a play at first base. Potter reached safely, and was given a single on the scoreboard to extend his streak to 11 games. This is where it gets interesting. My key witness for the feud, Thad Ferguson, admits that Brent Solinger ignited the feud by, "starting a screaming match" in which he "continued to increase his volume to the point it had to be addressed."
When I asked Coach Manes about the argument he said, "Brent just couldn’t let it go." Coach Manes let the feud die out, and didn’t take action against Brent because Brent had his wife and kids in the stands. (That last part is a reference to the pitching staff convincing Gabe, team assistant, that Brent was actually 30 years old and has a family.)
The "Question Mark" Moment of the Week
As many of my readers know, the baseball team can tell hundreds of stories about the oddities and uniqueness of the program. This week’s "question mark" story comes after the double header at Trevecca on Friday. The team boarded the bus at Trojan Field at precisely 8:48 p.m. with the intent to find dinner on our way back to the hotel. The journey began as coach Bo eased onto the gas, taking us away from the field and into an adventure.
Over the next six minutes, we passed restaurant after restaurant, headed to our ultimate destination. The players, stricken with excitement, viewed each new eatery with increasing fervor. The excitement only elevated when, eight minutes into the trip, the bus drove past our hotel headed towards Nashville. Murmurs on the bus rose as the bus approached the bright city lights, and we sat on the edge of our seats with child-like wonder, imagining the dining yet to come. The bus ventured beyond the scope of our expectations, into downtown Nashville. Bright lights, festive music, and passionate people surrounded us…welcoming us to their fair city and asking us to join them in their adventures.
Just as the beauty began to set in, it was ripped from our grasp as the bus headed back into the overwhelming darkness of the suburbs. I chalked the journey up to a wrong turn, or poor directions from a local, and set myself again to lookout duty for the restaurant. At that very moment, 38 minutes into the "eight-minute drive", I saw us pass our hotel…. AGAIN!!! I exclaimed the news to my teammates, who began to grow concerned. As the bus jockeyed for position on the freeway, we desperately held onto our chairs, and our stomachs, for dear life. I felt a strange sense of déjà vu tap me on the shoulder as our bus careened down an embankment towards a plethora of quality restaurants. To our dismay, we didn’t stop at any of these potential destinations, but turned around in an abandoned parking lot. Headed back in the direction whence we came…for the third time…we again passed our hotel.
At that very moment, chaos broke loose within the bus. It was every man for themselves, and there was no semblance of order. Just when all hope seemed lost, the bus hit a curb and pulled into the most beautiful dining area you could possibly imagine. The bus went silent. The team collected their belongings and silently marched off the bus. As I emerged from the vehicle, I gazed to the heavens, thankful to be at an end to our horrific 50-minute journey. As my eyes drifted among the stars, I saw the Golden Arches of McDonald’s, the place we had journeyed so far to eat. @CoachManes
Weekly Award
The Long John Silver’s Tardy Sauce Award
**Presented to Ben Lonergan (Later-gan) for showing up late to back to back games**
Mailbag
"(1) If you have the same umpire as Friday, how will your pitching coach react? (2) Who is your celebrity crush?" - Zachary, Cedarville
(1) Bo Martino would probably receive a two-day vacation, and take some anger management classes as mandated by the NCAA for ejections.
(2) Halle Berry (1994- May 2007), Megan Fox (June 2007-2008), Selena Gomez (2008-August 2013), Emma Watson (September 2013-Current).
Email questions about the team, our schedule, expectations, or what you’d like to see in the next blog to jadencleland@cedarville.edu.
Thanks for reading,
Big Mamu
March 16, 2017
We’re on a two-game winning streak, so…I’ll leave it at that.
Feud of the Week
This week, like each before it, was smothered in controversy. This week, the gentlemen in the back of the bus found themselves at odds with the front/middle of the bus. This feud gradually rose from the ashes on the ride down to Florida, as the back of the bus loudly played card games, which were nearly always stricken with controversy. While the front of the bus attempted to rest, the back of the bus engaged in a ruckus of jubilant laughter and aggressive internal bickering. At later times, when the back of the bus was attempting to rest, the front of the bus watched movies on “max volume” according to Riley Landrum. As these tensions rose to a boiling point, the back of the bus had begun to alienate Senior Marshall Johnson, for suspect gaming technique and “taking up too much space” in the already cramped quarters. When the feud boiled over, Marshall found himself vocally supporting the front of the bus, from his back of the bus seat, which his seatmates despised. Due to Marshall’s incessant prodding and vocal jabs at back of the bus members, he was awarded the title “Scumsack Marshall” for betraying his constituents, and fraternizing with the enemy. This feud, in recent days, has escaped the confines of the bus, but has not drifted away with the wind. Marshall continues to act in “scummy ways” according to my source, and “will eventually have to pay for his scumminess.”
Freshman Spotlight
OF (#19) - Logan Eby
Logan (Grumpy) hails from the backwoods of Pennsylvania, where he and his six brothers (Doc, Happy, Sleepy, Bashful, Dopey, and Sneezy) work tirelessly to aid Snow White. Logan is a stellar baseball player, and an even better man. There are quite a bit of rumors circling about Logan, so I was glad to sit down with the man, the myth, and the legend to iron out the details. Logan told me his celebrity crush is Jennifer Lawrence. He also informed me that, on a scale from 1-10, he was only a 6, and was impressed that Gunnar finished a tough mudder. When I asked Logan to define ostentatious, he said “a poignant dude named Austin”. We are very proud of the growth that Logan has shown this year, but even more proud of the job he did in his film debut, Oh Brother Where Art Thou. Logan describes himself as “jack hawk, alpha male, and delta force.”
Quote of the Week
“I like a good little pump, but Marc lifts too much for me” – Dan Llerena
Weekly Award
The Scumbag Steve Honorary Flat Bill Presented by Lids in Association with New Era.
**Presented to Marshall Johnson for being (according to the back row of the bus) the biggest “scumsack” on the team**
Mailbag
"Coach Manes has a long history of turning catchers into pitchers. For example, he turned a star, Peter Martin, into a world-class pitcher in a matter of days. How was he able to develop Jesse Bush into the pitcher he is today?" – Jordan, Cincinnati
Jordan brings up an interesting question to this week’s blog. I remember catching Peter Martin in his prime. A Texas Rangers scout, who was scouting David Lenhardt at the time, boasted that Peter Martin could “throw a pork-chop past a hungry hound dog.” For that reason, I find it offensive to compare Jesse Bush to the likes of Peter Martin.
Peter was blessed with the gifted oversight of Benjamin Galbreath as pitching coach, who turned him into the bean-baller he was in his prime. Bush, however, was brought along under the tutelage of Bo Martino. Another variable is that Peter transformed into a flamethrower, while Bush followed the route of Tim Wakefield and R.A. Dickey down the forsaken boulevard of knuckleballers. Lastly, Peter’s mound presence, and unparalleled catches in batting practice cannot be conveyed to our readers through mere words.
Due to the variables stated above, I don’t believe that we can accurately compare their two ascents into the pitching ranks. While Coach Manes authorized the change of both men, there are unaccounted variables that persist in each individual’s successes and failures. Simply put, Jesse Bush and Peter Martin are incomparable, like a...
Email questions about the team, our schedule, expectations, or what you’d like to see in the next blog to jadencleland@cedarville.edu.
Thanks for reading,
Big Mamu
March 9, 2017
On the field, the Yellow Jackets have gotten off to a hot 0-8 start, but it isn’t the in-game play that makes this team special. After eight games into the season, our team is leading the nation in a variety of categories. The Cedarville Yellow Jackets lead the NCAA Division II with most 7/11 slushy’s consumed, shower-based arguments, and card game injuries.
Jaden’s Week Recap
Sunday morning, after hearing a solid message from Pastor G (Dan Llerena’s Dad) we were able to grab some grub at a local church potluck, while desperately holding onto our food through the 30 mph winds off the bay.
On Monday, Coach sat awkwardly in B-dubs while a group of waitresses sang him Happy Birthday despite his confusion.
Tuesday was full of surprises; after a fabulous dinner at Moe’s the team gathered together to view the highly anticipated Power Point (A slideshow that individually roasts everyone on the team, and brings us together through our imperfections).
On Wednesday, we ventured into a rough part of town to Frankie’s Patriot Barbeque for arguably the best meal of the year to date.
Today, Thursday, we are traveling to the Spring Training home of the Tampa Bay Rays for an exhibition, and to bring home our first win. Coach Bo is currently handing out scouting reports for Chris Archer, while driving to the game. Look for big headlines later in the week after we add the Rays to the list of Tampa teams we have already beaten. #WeBeatTampa
Freshman Spotlight
3B (#22) - Eli Sanchez
Eli Sanchez brings a solid bat and a catcher’s approach to third base for the team. Sanchez leads the nation in most ground balls fielded off his chest, and most times sucking up to coach Manes about the Cubs. Right under our noses, The Sanchize has become a budding star, and I was able to sit down with him in a Baseball Blog Exclusive Interview. In honor of International Women’s day, Sanchez told us that he really admires the work of Joan of Arc, and his mother. During the interview, Sanchez shouted over the cheers of his fans, to tell us that he will in fact be taking his nursing scrubs, perfect hair, and talents to South Beach at the end of the year. If you see Sanchez around campus, ask him about his nursing kit, mess up his hair, and tell him to keep swinging a big stick at the plate.
Quotes of the Off-Season
"Peter Pan….That kid can’t play ball" – Coach Kip
"Lets take this to the shallow end" – Dan Llerena (5’8")
Weekly Award
The Tourist Face of the Week Presented by Big Red
**Presented to Jesse Bush for getting the worst sunburn on the team**
Mailbag
"What is it like rooming with Markus Neff and Riley Landrum?" - (Concerned Alumni)
Markus and Riley are currently in a heated feud about the showerhead, which I unfortunately found myself in the middle of. In order to tell this story properly, I must begin with the first night at the hotel. Markus falls asleep faster, and in weirder positions than anyone I’ve ever known. When Markus fell asleep, on Riley’s side of the bed with his laptop on and his headphone in, Riley seemed a bit frustrated. Because Markus is a grown man, he is quite difficult to move, and thus Riley struggled to gain control of his sleeping space for part of the first night in the room. The next morning, Markus made fun of the way Riley sneezed, claiming that it was rather feminine. This cut to the core of Riley, who was now on edge after a tough night. Later in the week, Riley, notably frustrated, lost his drink in the room and swore that Markus had consumed it. He was furious at Markus, and called him out on it. Come to find out, Markus had simply put it in the fridge to keep it cool. Lastly, Markus and Riley have been at odds most about the showerhead. Markus likes to turn the water off through the showerhead, so when you turn it on, water sprays from the top. Riley, however, likes to turn the water off and pulls the faucet plug, so the water comes out from the faucet below. Riley, unknowingly turned on the water in the morning, expecting it to come from the faucet, and got rained upon from the showerhead. This has been the main source of heated conflict in room 207 for the entirety of the week.
Email questions about the team, our schedule, expectations, or what you’d like to see in the next blog to jadencleland@cedarville.edu.
Thanks for reading,
Big Mamu
March 2, 2017
I would like to start this blog with five blank lines of silence for Eli Weldy, who is currently awaiting news on his elbow. We hope and pray that he is able to return.
As many of you know, we played two games in Florence, KY this past weekend followed by a game in Young Harris, GA. While I typically don’t talk about baseball in the baseball blog, I feel compelled to mention a few early-season highlights.
Jaden’s Top 3 Highlights Presented by Josh Cutz
- Markus struggled out of the gate, but got lucky four times in one game.
- Sean Melanoma gave up a grand slam
- Ben Lonergan took the first camel ride of the season in Georgia during the late innings against Young Harris.
We are currently Florida bound, and relatively safe, with Coach Bo currently driving his 18th hour in the last 30 hours. We play our next game at Eckerd College Friday, March 3rd, and the Farmer’s Almanac is predicting a win "in a big way". Stay tuned on Game Changer or text one of the pitchers with their phones in their pocket during the game to find out the score.
Freshman Spotlight
C (#6) – Matt Biermann
Matt Biermann is a catcher from somewhere, and boy are we glad to have Bier on the team!!! No single individual is as adorable and huggable as Matt. Everyone loves Matt, so I was excited to be able to sit down with the teddy bear himself over the weekend. Matt told us his favorite artist is Zach Brown Band, and his favorite coin is the buffalo nickel. Everyone knows Biermann likes to fish, but we were surprised when he told us the largest fish he caught had been two feet. He additionally added that he was shocked that the fish had feet at all. I asked Matt, "On a scale from sun-dried tomato to fire truck, how red does your face get when you’re embarrassed?" He noted that his cheeks are more of a "Biermann Pastel". He said he had already caught roughly 200 bullpens this year, and couldn’t wait to catch the next one. Biermann doesn’t know how large a bushel is, so when you see him after break give him a hug and tell him he has a heart the size of a bushel.
Quotes of the Off-Season
"He’s just one ugly dude" – Coach Bo
"Who’s the little guy on the team chasing foul balls?" – Fan asking about Dan Llerena
Weekly Award
The 5 a.m. Fan of the Off-Season Presented by FanDuel
**Presented to Charlene for ALWAYS being there to cheer us on**
Mailbag
"In your opinion, what will be the most difficult obstacle to overcome as a team this season?" - (Tanner, Indiana)
There will be obstacles this year, but probably not the sort you were imagining when you asked this question. I believe our biggest struggle this year will be maintaining good hygiene. From the first day of fall camp, it was apparent that this team lacked a basic level of cleanliness. Colton Potter, junior outfielder, said he hasn’t had a haircut in over 14 months, and Ross Melchior, team manager, hasn’t been to the barbershop in nearly 16 months. In addition, Nate Robinson hasn’t trimmed his red beard since early December.
Email questions about the team, our schedule, expectations, or what you’d like to see in the next blog to jadencleland@cedarville.edu.
Thanks for reading,
Big Mamu
February 23, 2017
Welcome back Yellow Jacket faithful to another season of disturbing stories and shocking adventure. It’s been roughly nine months since I last wrote you on the inner workings of the Yellow Jackets, and I’m positive that you have been desperately waiting to read my blog all that time. While I would love to jump right back into the fold, a lot has happened over the off-season that we simply cannot ignore. We must first address last years’ departures, and the newcomers, so you don’t keep asking, "who’s that guy?" when you come to all of our games this season.
Departures
Jordan Adams
Garrett Baker
David Bancroft
That Canadian Guy
"The Pitcher that Throws Underhand" – Mom
David Lenhardt
Departures (cont.)
Drew Johnson
Blake Robertson
That Coach with the Grey Goatee
Alex Kebbel
Cole Swigert
The Kid Who Closes Games "When Needed"
Newcomers
Bo Martino (Pitching Coach)
Cameron Koch (RHP)
Matthew Bierman (C/1B)
Ben Lonergan (LHP)
Wyatt Kyser (OF)
Troy Ericson (RHP)
Sean Macaroni (RHP)
Tyler Brophy (RHP)
Logan Eby (OF)
Elliot Gilmore (LHP) Medical Red-Shirt
Eli Sanchez (C/3B)
Tim Vander Have (RHP)
Connor Culhane (SS pretending to be a pitcher)
Markus Neff (Hitter)
In addition to some personnel changes, we have also had a variety of off-season headlines that I’d guess weren’t covered in your local paper. Due to the failure of local news, I have put together a list to bring you up to speed.
Jaden’s Miscellaneous List of Vital Off-Season News
1.) Nate Robinson and Elliot Gilmore (See Newcomers List) have regretfully suffered season-ending Tommy John surgeries. Nate tore his UCL at the end of the summer, and Elliot tore his to "get closer to Nate" according to my sources.
2.) Head Skipper, Michael Manes, hired Bo Martino as the new Pitching Coach. Bo is from Texas, has an interesting social media presence, and no doubt will find himself in the blog quite a bit this year.
3.) Jesse Bush, former batting practice legend, has made the transition to the mound as a knuckleball pitcher. Ross Melchior, the most well-known baseball player to come from Wyoming, will also see time on the mound this season.
4.) Andrew Plunkett shaved his head.
5.) Sean Mohican did not shave his head (See team photos to understand the reference)
6.) Despite the hilarious controversy surrounding Jordan Ralston’s drug test, I am proud to announce that everyone passed.
7.) Nate Bancroft is engaged to be married this summer, so offer him your congratulations or condolences whenever you see him next.
8.) Jesse Bush was recently named Cedarville University’s second-most eligible bachelor.
Freshman Spotlight
RHP (#21) – Tyler Brophy
Tyler Brophy is a pitcher from Brookville, OH. Tyler’s friendly, and slightly colorful, personality brings new perspective to the team. While Brophy is a tough man to get a hold of, I was able to sit down with him for an exclusive interview. Tyler told us that his favorite flavor hot pocket is sausage and cheese, and that he never takes two trips when carrying groceries into the house. In addition to being a part time DJ and YouTube star, Brophy can type 72 words per minute. His favorite thing in the world is freshly cut grass, and he’s terribly afraid of "murky water, horror movies, and losing his wallet". If you see Tyler around, shove a handful of freshly cut grass in his face, take his wallet, and wish him good luck in the upcoming season. Here’s to Tyler.
Quote of the Off-Season
"Hey guys" – Nate Robinson
Weekly Award
The Shave Time, Shave Money Award, brought to you by Dollar Shave Club
**Presented to Logan Eby for shaving his beard, and revealing the most adorable set of cheeks any of us have ever seen**
Mailbag
"With so many newcomers, will you have time to spotlight all the freshmen and transfers this season?" - (Destiny, Cuyahoga)
Thanks for your question Destiny. We do have a lot of new guys this year, but we will do our best to get each and every one of them their brief moment in the sun. We will begin working our way through the freshman class (In no particular order), and will finish the year with transfers. If we run out of weeks, then I may have to introduce the Daily-Double spotlight later in the year.
I know many of you will be surprised by this, but last year I made most of the mailbag questions up myself. I would like to avoid doing that this year, so while you’re reading this blog in economics (Tanner…) go ahead and shoot me an email with what you’d like answered in the next blog.
Email questions about the team, our schedule, expectations, or what you’d like to see in the next blog to jadencleland@cedarville.edu.
Thanks for reading,
Big Mamu
Jaden Cleland is a senior catcher from Springfield, Ohio. He is in his fourth season with the Yellow Jackets and is majoring in pre-law.
